Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
