Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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