I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
