therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
