It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm both gender and math confused
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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