just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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