Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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