i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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