how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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