Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
