honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
