Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
NoShamevember. You game?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
