Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
