You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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