This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
