I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
