Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
