Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
