the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
