God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize