Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
