well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
