I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
love makes seman taste better
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize