We need to rekindle our bromance
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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