i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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