Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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