Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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