I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
