I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
