Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
