just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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