do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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