I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
