The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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