its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
