So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
