True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize