So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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