her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize