maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
