I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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