his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we're making bets on your personal life
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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