Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
