things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
