apparently the secret to your success is patron
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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