covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
