I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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