I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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