it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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