I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
