eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
