Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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