i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize