But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
