Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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