Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
