I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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