she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
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Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
well, you know. whores of a feather.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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