Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
