oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
