I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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